There's a certain Slant of light,
Winter Afternoons –
That oppresses, like the Heft
Of Cathedral Tunes –
Heavenly Hurt, it gives us –
We can find no scar,
But internal difference –
Where the Meanings, are –
None may teach it – Any –
'Tis the seal Despair –
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the Air –
When it comes, the Landscape listens –
Shadows – hold their breath –
When it goes, 'tis like the Distance
On the look of Death –
Yesterday I spent a beautiful winter afternoon sledding and playing on a playground with my two beautiful boys. The light was gorgeous and the temperature was humane. I felt refreshed and strong when we went back home, and I needed to feel that way.
We are in the midst of February and still in the midst of unknown. There have been days lately where I felt almost sick again, because the unknown felt too heavy. There are things we should be planning, things we have to think about. Never mind. We need to just wait and wait and wait and wait, be patient, be hopeful and trust. Good things have happened, and life is good, busy and rich. But how long can one live with uncertainty? How long will we be able to handle this kind of pressure and stress without any emotional and physical damage? Everyone I talk to gives me this look, and says:"Hmm, this is stressful." I will just say this, Brad and I have been through quite a bit these last couple years, and we are still here, still going for it, still hoping, still holding on to faith and to each other. I hope this means something in the grand scheme of things. I hope there will be some kind of relief coming soon.
But to end this post on a lighter note, I have been busy, so busy with this translating project, photography will have to be postponed for a while. I am enjoying it and I am committed, but there will be long nights ahead of me. I am sure of it. And then, on an even happier note, when I received the email from Photo Technique's Magazine that I would be featured on their home page, I was sincerely surprised, but so very happy.
And now it is time for me to get back to work. I am without kids today for several hours and have to use my time wisely. By the way, have I ever told you that German is a very difficult language?
all photos © Manuela Thames