Happiness

Happiness

by Raymond Carver

So early it's still almost dark out.
I'm near the window with coffee,
and the usual early morning stuff
that passes for thought.

When I see the boy and his friend
walking up the road
to deliver the newspaper.

They wear caps and sweaters,
and one boy has a bag over his shoulder.
They are so happy
they aren't saying anything, these boys.

I think if they could, they would take
each other's arm.
It's early in the morning,
and they are doing this thing together.

They come on, slowly.
The sky is taking on light,
though the moon still hangs pale over the water.

Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition, even love,
doesn't enter into this.

Happiness. It comes on
unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,
any early morning talk about it.

Yesterday's forecast said we would have the first winter storm of the season. But fortunately it did not turn out to be true. There was some snow on the ground this morning, but it's almost gone now and, opposite to a winter storm, the sky is blue, the colors are bright and the air is fresh and pleasant.
A perfect day for an autumn walk.
As I am sitting at my desk typing,  I am listening to Cello music while my younger son is playing with some toys in the opposite corner of our living room, quietly.
I am trying to sort out my thoughts.

My photographic journey seems to be on hold at the moment. I was feeling so incredibly anxious and frustrated for a while about my creative block. Nothing is happening as far as taking photos goes.
Silence.
But I have come to accept this phase, realizing that life just happens the way it happens and you can't control most of it. Inspiration can't be forced. It will come to me again when it's time.
Some ideas are floating in my head, and I know that eventually I will feel it again, the urge to get out and create photos.
Meanwhile other things are important.

Personal challenges, parenting challenges, life challenges…
The day is packed with challenges that have to be met and dealt with; one by one, slowly and carefully, calmly and peacefully. So much energy is used for that.
The day is also packed with tasks and ordinary chores, chores I never seem to be able to catch up with and are the same every single day. And then there are the moments that make everything worth while, that mix themselves among those challenges and tasks.
You take a deep breath, take in the beauty and sit still for a minute or two.
I have to remind myself that these moments happen quite a bit during the day, sometimes we just have a hard time noticing them.